What is Secondary Tokophobia?
Understanding the fear of birth after trauma – and how support can help
You’re not alone.
Many people feel anxious during pregnancy — but for some, the fear is overwhelming. That’s where secondary tokophobia comes in.
🌀 What is secondary tokophobia?
Secondary tokophobia is a fear of childbirth that develops after a previous difficult or traumatic experience. This might include:
A traumatic or emergency birth
Feeling unsafe or dismissed by healthcare professionals
Pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or neonatal complications
A long recovery or NICU experience
Feeling like you — or your baby — nearly didn’t survive
Even when things look fine “on paper,” the emotional impact can linger in ways others don’t see.
🔁 “But everything was fine in the end…”
That’s something many people hear — or tell themselves.
But trauma doesn’t care about the outcome. It’s about how helpless, frightened, or overwhelmed you felt at the time. If your body and brain still carry that imprint, it makes perfect sense that pregnancy or birth now feels unsafe.
🧠 Why does it feel so intense?
Trauma changes how the brain processes threat.
Even when you know you're safe, your nervous system may not agree.
You might notice:
Avoiding hospitals, baby talk, or medical TV shows
Panic during check-ups or scans
Guilt or shame about past decisions
Feeling frozen or emotionally numb
Over-researching, over-planning — or avoiding planning altogether
Not buying baby items or struggling to connect with the pregnancy
None of this means you’re broken. It means your system is trying to protect you.
🧰 How can therapy help?
At Reflection Clinic, we offer a warm, trauma-informed space to gently process what happened — and how it’s still affecting you now.
CBT and compassion-focused therapy (CFT) can help you:
Understand the fear cycle and what keeps it going
Identify unhelpful safety behaviours
Gently reclaim a sense of control through personalised exposure
Let go of guilt and self-blame using tools like the Responsibility Pie Chart
Create a trauma-informed birth or care plan to share with maternity staff
You don’t need to “just get over it.”
You deserve space to process, grieve, and build safety again.
📘 Want to explore in your own time?
I’ve created a free downloadable therapy guide:
👉 Understanding Secondary Tokophobia – A Therapy Guide
this gentle, therapist-designed guide includes:
CBT + CFT-based tools
Birth planning after trauma
Visual worksheets
Calming strategies you can use any time
Use it on your own or alongside therapy — whatever feels right for you.
🌸 Final thoughts
If you’re feeling afraid, frozen, or confused — there’s nothing wrong with you.
You went through something hard. You deserve care, clarity, and support as you make sense of it all.
📩 If you’d like to talk about how therapy could help, feel free to get in touch or download the free guide above.
